


Nocturne

by denilmo



Category: Naruto
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-06
Updated: 2017-02-06
Packaged: 2018-09-22 12:19:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,402
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9607328
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/denilmo/pseuds/denilmo
Summary: Adoration turns to love. Disasters can strike in the middle of the night.  Hope ends and begins all things.OrTenzo's devotion to his senpai knows no bounds. Even when Kakashi's nightmares become too real. It'll take more than that to push him away.OrHave some smut and some angst featuring Tenzo and his senpai. Cause I can't ever decide if I want to let them fuck or fuck each other up.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [DimiGex](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DimiGex/gifts).



To say what Tenzo felt for his senpai was something akin to hero worship would be excessive. Calling it simple adoration would be insufficient. Calling it love … well, that was a kind of uncertainty that stuck in his throat.

There was no questioning that he admired the famed Copy Nin, no doubt that he'd fight for him, no apprehension to his loyalty.

But when jokes turned into subtle flirting, and sideways glances turned into longing stares, and gentle touches lingered for longer than necessary, Tenzo found himself questioning his feelings.

What exactly did he feel for Kakashi? The more he thought on it the more flustered he became around the man. Even simple things like sharing ration bars on a mission, or washing up side by side at a creek, made him dizzy with thoughts.  _ ‘Kakashi-senpai’s mouth touched this’  _ or ‘ _ Senpai has really nice shoulders’ _ and even ‘ _ I wonder if his lips are soft’ _ wormed their way into his head.

If Kakashi was aware, he said nothing. But the way he teased him, the way his voice would drop and his body heat would roll off of him as he leaned in to say this or that with that edge to his voice, made Tenzo wonder if he was just being toyed with.

And on a night filled with copious amounts of sake and lowered inhibitions, the Anbu captain asked him so. Tenzo had very little recollection of the event the next morning and found it curious that he wasn't at his home, and even more curious that he wasn't wearing a shirt, and that he could feel his heart pounding in his head. And why could he still taste sake with every breath?

When Kakashi's voice echoed somewhere behind him, Tenzo was mortified and he scrambled to his feet from the cold of the floor.  His head ached at the sudden movement. His senpai merely smiled and tossed him his shirt - that he mentioned, quite cheekily, that he had cleaned for him. He apologized, profusely, with warm cheeks and an averted gaze. Who knew what kinds of things came out of his mouth. He felt like an idiot.

“A rather cute idiot,” Kakashi amended, which only made the younger man’s cheeks  burn hotter. 

“Kakashi-senpai, please…”

But Hatake stood before him, unmoving, unblinking - and if Tenzo thought that his heart had been pounding before, he was unsure how to label what it did when a large hand lifted to cup his cheek.

His gaze was drawn to the man's lone one, the Sharingan eye gently closed. Tenzo felt himself swallow that thick uncertainty down again.

He could have sworn he heard Kakashi murmur, “my silly little kohai,” but then their mouths were pressed together, and his lips really were that soft, and he'd forgotten all about it.

Tenzo lifted his hand and placed it tentatively on his senpai’s chest. Kakashi's other hand curled around his, holding his hand more secure to him, and the action melted some of his apprehension away. With a bubble of confidence, the younger man returned the kiss, the plush of his lips inviting.

But then Kakashi pulled away with a nibble to his bottom lip and a smirk that had his kohai’s face blossoming with quite the impressive blush - again.

“That,” he remarked, “was in case you forgot what I said last night.”  Tenzo was sure his face reddened even more,  but his senpai only chuckled. “I would never toy with you like that, no matter how much I enjoy teasing you,  _ Ten-chan _ .”

“Oi, senpai! …  Stop calling me that!”

The resulting laughter was airy, infectious, and left Tenzo breathless. It brought him relief, and maybe a little bit of hope, however fleeting it may be.

For a while, nothing changed. Months passed, missions came and went, and wounds were tended to. Sometimes in between, Tenzo found himself sharing a meal with his senpai, or training together per his request. Sometimes Kakashi would invite him over, sometimes the other way around, and sometimes they just lounged around together and read books or had tea. 

But most times they’d lose themselves in each other's kiss and be found in each caress. Tenzo marveled at the expressions that crossed they usually stoic man's face. He knew Kakashi was more than how others perceived him. He was more than cold, calculating, or aloof; he was hot summer days, a burst of fireworks, a gentle rain.

He was full bottom lip, expert tongue, greedy hands, and even greedier hips. He was a soft embrace, and tender whispers of adoration.

Tenzo wasn't naïve, for he'd also seen the other side of Kakashi. He was danger, and ozone, and reckless abandon. He was sharp teeth, and bloody hands, and a fragile heart. He just never expected the reminder to come as it did.

The Anbu captain was standing guard at the Hokage Tower when Kakashi returned from his mission. He had appraised him from behind his porcelain mask. Outwardly, he appeared fine - just dirty and a little scratched up - but there was an aura about him, an electric hum  cocooning him in warning to those nearby. Tenzo’s eyes narrowed in concealed concern. No words were exchanged as he passed and entered the Hokage's office.

Tenzo remained silent and statuesque in his duty while his stomach churned and his heart palpitated. It felt like ages before the door opened again and Kakashi emerged. The words he meant to say got caught in his throat as his senpai walked by; it was obvious he was distraught over something with the tense way he carried his shoulders.

Without anything else to offer, Tenzo stepped after him and snagged two of the Copy nin’s fingers with a hook of his own. He was cold and it was disheartening, but their contact made him pause.

“I'm alright,” he assured before pulling free from his grasp.

Tenzo said nothing, only watched as his back receded around the terrace. He fell back into his position, keeping the heavy sigh at bay as he realized what a lousy liar his senpai was.

When Tenzo finished his rotation he took to the rooftops, the sinking sun burning his eyes. The air was humid as it pulled through his teeth and stuck to his lungs. That had to be why his chest felt so heavy, he thought as he landed in front of his senpai’s door. He lifted his hand and knocked and waited. And knocked again. Impatience made his fingers twitch, and before he could decide on whether or not to just let himself in, the door swung open.

Kakashi stood there bare-chested, water droplets slipping down his skin and raining from his hair as he passed a towel over his head. His eyes were flat, neutral, as he left the door open and walked away. Tenzo steeled his resolve and crossed the threshold. The click of the door shutting into place was louder than ever. He watched Hatake move about the kitchen, letting the towel drape around his neck.

He studied Kakashi studying the contents of his fridge as he removed his mask and head guard. Glass clinked together as he pulled two bottles out. Then he set one on the counter next to Tenzo’s mask in offering, the other he twisted the cap off of. The older man took a long drink, letting out a satisfied sigh afterward. His gaze slid over to Tenzo and a brow rose in question. “Are you not in the mood to drink?”

“Not particularly.”

Kakashi set his bottle down with a thoughtful hum. “Perhaps you're in the mood for something else? You didn't even change clothes. You came straight here,” he remarked as he stepped forward.

Tenzo’s brow furrowed in annoyance. “I just came to see you because I was worried.”

“I'm alright I already-”

“Are you? The way you looked earlier-”

“Are you questioning me?”

Tenzo could see the danger flash in his eyes like lightning. “No, I'm just concerned about you and I don't believe it when you say you're fine.”

A grin stretched the Copy Nin’s lips. “Should I demonstrate to you just how fine I am?”

“Kakashi-senpai, I didn't mean -”

But he was silenced with a kiss, Hatake's  lips pressed to his - hard and urgent and unyielding as he was pushed against the counter. Tenzo could taste the remnants of his drink as he opened up, accepting his senpai’s insistent tongue. Even though his hands were planted firmly on the older man's chest in protest, he knew there was no stopping him until he felt his point had been made. So the Anbu captain surrendered, trying to match his partner’s needy pace. 

His lungs began to burn for proper breath, but Kakashi refused to relinquish his mouth, curling his fingers into his brown locks when he tried to pull away. Tenzo gasped -both in pain and for air - when finally Kakashi pulled back and his teeth caught his bottom lip. Dexterous fingers slid down his arm, before curling under his arm guard and loosening the strap. He was still very aware of the fingers fisted in his hair.

“See,” Kakashi muttered against his kohai’s throat. “Feels fine to me.”

The loud clunk as his arm guard hit the floor covered the Anbu’s sigh. “Senpai…”

Hatake's hand loosened from his hair and ventured down his other arm. His breath washed hot over skin, and the captain pushed a surprised groan from his lips as a firm thigh pressed between his legs. The second arm guard joined the first, but the younger man didn't register the sound. Kakashi's gaze was dark and mesmerizing and he should have been alarmed at how easily he was disarmed, but Tenzo's heart was pounding and his body was flush with the desire for more.

For the briefest of moments he saw sadness pull at the Copy Nin’s lips and he took hold of his shoulders. “But you're not, you're lying to yourself.”

He was silenced and his face grew red as Kakashi's hand cupped the bulge at the front of his pants. “Are you telling me that you want to stop?”

“Yes,” Tenzo’s reply came out stuttered as his partner’s hand rubbed over the growing firmness.

The corner of his lips quirked upward. “Now who's lying?”

The brunet couldn't stop himself - from feeling, from enjoying it, from letting the moan tumble out. His senpai’s mouth hovered close enough that he could feel his breath against his face. He didn't have to look to know that his pants were being targeted next.

“Kakashi… please…”  _ Stop _ he'd meant to say, but the fist encircling him tightened and hot tongue lapped at his lips and he subconsciously leaned into him for more.

Their mouths met and the younger man trembled as he was stroked, that wondrous sensation building and pumping through him with every beat of his heart.

The Copy Nin abruptly retreated, his hands moving to the captain's breastplate. “Off,” he commanded breathlessly as his fingers set about unbuckling it. His familiarity with the armor made the task a breeze and with the bulky piece out of the way he pressed their bodies together.

Tenzo could feel his heat, his eagerness, as  his palm flattened on his abdomen and trailed upward over the hard ridge of muscle. He hissed against his senpai’s mouth as fingers pinched a nipple.

“You like that?”

“Senpai …”

His shirt was jerked upward and he lifted his arms to allow him to tear it off over his head. Warm chest to warm chest, the captain wrapped his arms around the jounin. His touch flitted about Kakashi's scarred back, gentle and soothing, hoping his embrace would provide some comfort.

But comfort was far from the Copy Nin’s mind.

Tenzo stumbled as he was pulled forward, but quickly found his footing. The meeting of their mouths was clumsy and desperate as he was blindly led away from the kitchen. His head swam as he was spun around and his back collided with the wall. Kakashi's mouth blazed a trail across his cheek to his neck. His teeth scraped against his skin before biting and sucking the sensitive flesh.

The brunet's stomach clenched as the pleasure assaulted him and he arched against the strong body; fingers dragged  down his sides before grabbing his hips almost possessively. Kakashi eased the suction against his neck and let his tongue lave across the dark angry mark.

It sent chills down the captain's body, and with it, a bit of clarity. Tenzo rarely saw his friend like this - desperate and commanding - and he understood the need to lose himself, as he'd been guilty of such a feeling before. But he couldn't hide from what happened, from whatever had his gaze lined with sorrow and his lips laced with misery. Tenzo would gladly be whatever his senpai needed, but was this what he truly needed right now?

Kakashi's mouth skimmed across his collarbone as he shoved his hand down the front of his pants again. His touch was rough and battle-worn, but never vicious. And the captain found himself pressing his head back against the wall as the pad of Kakashi's thumb ran over the tip of him, smearing the milky bead of precome. The waistband of his Anbu issued pants was yanked down to the middle of his thighs, leaving him bared.

“You… you can't take advantage of me like this…” Tenzo panted. He glared at his friend, but there was no menace in his eyes, only hunger. 

“Then stop me,” the Copy Nin husked back against his jaw as he gave him a full, languid stroke.

“I…” His breath faltered at the heavenly touch. “I…” His hips jerked forward into his hand.

“You can't? Or rather you don't want to. Admit it, kohai, you like the way I touch you. You like the way I make you feel and you want more of it.”

It was true, he felt amazing and he yearned for those ripples of ecstasy to morph into tidal waves and lose himself completely, but - “But you… oh shit-” he moaned as Hatake's fist twisted down his length, his hand curling under him at the base to cup and squeeze twin sacs. “Kakashi… senpai,  you-”

“I know, I'm fucked up.” His voice was low, melancholic yet accepting. And his hand didn't stop. “But you're here with me. So… either I'm not that bad -” another twist of his hand - “or you're as fucked up as I am.”

Tenzo’s eyes snapped open and he met Kakashi's dark stare. “I'm not…  _ you're not _ …” He cuffed Hatake's hand with his own, making his movement halt. “We're not fucked up people.”  And he meant it, but even he felt there was a certain amount of conviction missing from his voice.

Kakashi's eyes took on a far away  expression. “Maybe… but Anbu has a pretty solid record with that.”

The captain lifted his other hand and cupped his cheek, bringing Hatake's attention back to him. He wasn't sure if he could fulfill his promise, or even if maybe he was a little too late, but there was more confidence in his vow this time around. “I won't let that happen to you.”

Kakashi smirked at him as he curled his other hand around his fingers and then turned his face into his kohai’s hand, kissing his palm and the inside of his wrist. Then he began to sink to his knees, slipping Tenzo’s hand into his ash-colored locks.

Words died on his tongue as Kakashi’s lips parted and then closed around the head of his shaft. The jounin’s slick muscle rolled along the underside of him as he took more and more of him into his mouth. The sight of his head bobbing was erotic in and of itself and Tenzo lovingly curled his fingers into his senpai’s hair in appreciation.

A mismatched gaze turned upward and Tenzo was caught in its intensity, unable to look away until his mouth slowed, coming forward and taking every inch of him. His walnut  eyes slid close, enraptured by the feeling of being devoured so greedily. Kakashi's lips and tongue worked him, speeding then slowing, suckling the head before swallowing all of him.

His larger hands splayed over the back of his thighs, pulling him forward into his rhythm. It didn't take long for Tenzo to succumb to the set pace, his hips rocking on their own accord, sweat breaking out across his skin. His grip in Hatake's hair would fall lax until he’d  do that oh so glorious trick with his tongue that had his fist tightening and his legs tensing.

Kakashi let him slide from his mouth, pressing his wet lips to smooth skin as he rose up chiseled abdomen. He smashed their mouths together and Tenzo eagerly deepened their kiss, his hands holding him as close as possible as he tasted himself on the jounin's tongue. 

Kakashi broke the kiss as he began to walk back, pulling the captain with him. “Let's do it the other way around tonight,” he said through a shaky breath.

Tenzo turned a questioning look to him as he was kissed once again. Hatake plopped down onto the bed, reaching up as he came to stand between his legs. His cool fingers curled around Tenzo’s  pants and finished pushing them down his legs. Tenzo pulled his bottom lip between his teeth as warm tongue glided over his length. A charged silence stretched between them, the air delicate and tense.

Kakashi's gaze was dark and consuming and held the younger man captive. There was a gentle rustle as he laid back, his hands dragging to his own hips. “I want to feel you inside me,” he commented, voice gravelly and dripping with lust. And the picture he painted as he lifted his hips and began to reveal smooth, fair skin and fully erect member made Tenzo’s mouth go dry.

The Anbu reached forward as he stepped from the pants pooled at his feet and helped his lover finish removing his. The brunet let his hands roam creamy thighs and lean torso, and nearly smirked when Kakashi hooked his ankles at the back of his knees. Watching his face, Tenzo wrapped his hand around the jounin’s neglected cock and stroked him slowly - inch by agonizing inch - all the way down and back up again.

He hoped he could repay the favor so graciously bestowed upon him, but the Copy Nin was in no mood. He jerked Tenzo’s hand away and lifted it to his mouth. Dark eyes widened as Kakashi sucked two of his fingers into his mouth, running his tongue along the appendages, ensuring they were sufficiently wet.

The string of saliva made for a racy image, but it was one that admittedly turned the captain on. 

The jounin guided his hand to exactly where he wanted it. “Inside me,” he repeated, cheeks flushed.

Tenzo pressed his finger to the ring of fleshy muscle, massaging him in preparation before slipping inside. The gruff moan that fell from Hatake's lips was beautiful, and after a moment, and some insistent mumbling, he added a second finger.

Kakashi’s grip clutched at the bed sheets as he continued to pump and scissor his fingers inside him. He ran his other hand along the lithe body spread before him, feeling every minute twitch.

“Fuck… I want you, Tenzo.”

“So impatient,” he chuckled, but he could feel the fire in his stare and the yearning in his voice. “Just let me get-”

“I'm fine, just do it already.”

The Anbu wet his palm and rubbed himself to relieve the aching pressure before aligning himself, Kakashi's thighs parting wider for him. He began to push inside, the tight heat welcoming him and drawing an awed gasp from his lips. The jounin’s face twisted in a mix of pleasure and pain, and Tenzo hoped to ease it away and make it more enjoyable. He trailed a hand back to his lover's length, pumping him in his fist as he eased in a little further, stretched him a little more.

Again, Kakashi removed his hand, only this time he laced their fingers together and jerked Tenzo to him, at the same time his feet slid up to his thighs and pushed him closer, forcing him inside.

The anbu was stunned, frozen by the sudden action and being enveloped by his incredibly tight canal. The jounin cried out, the breath rushing from his lungs and caressing Tenzo's cheek. Their faces hovered close to each other, for a moment neither moving. The brunet turned his confused and concerned gaze to his senpai, and brushed his nose against his throat, letting his lips caress him.

Kakashi's eyes finally unscrewed and he took a shaky breath. “I'm okay you can move.”

Tenzo continue to let his lips brush the older man’s skin, his collarbone, and shoulders as he slowly drew his hips back. The sharp hiss beneath him told him that he was anything but okay. The younger man continued to pepper his skin with kisses as his hips rocked at a leisurely pace.

And when Kakashi would squeeze his hand, he’d squeeze right back. The anbu captain had no idea what happened, but he'd give the man whatever small reassurance needed that he wasn't alone. Uncomfortable grunts faded into soft moans and Tenzo lifted his head. The jounin was staring at him, his eyes darting about his face. For a moment he looked calm, and the brunet dipped in for a proper kiss.

“You feel so good,” he muttered between glances of their lips.

Tenzo could feel as Kakashi started to undulate against him, meeting his gentle thrusts with more fervor. “If you want more, you just have to say so,” the brunet relayed between soft pants.

Hatake's head fell back, away from his penetrating stare, and the captain thought he'd remain silent - after all Kakashi was not known to beg or ask for anything.  But a low groan rumbled, nearly on the edge of frustration. 

“More… Tenzo… I need more of you.” His request was coupled with the blind rolling of his hips. 

The younger man kissed his chest and then lifted himself so he was standing upright again. There was a pause of breath as the sensation changed,  and Tenzo curled his hands over Hatake's thighs. While he kept the same steady pace, he ensured that he filled him, drawing out the feeling of every inch of him sliding in and out. But even that wasn't enough to satiate the jounin sprawled out before him for long. 

“Mmm-more… faster.”

Hearing the breathy moans and seeing how absorbed he was, Tenzo could only oblige. He sped his hips,  the increased friction making the heat from his belly spread outward and dance up his spine. 

Pale arms reached up and he clenched at the edge of the bed as Kakashi tilted his pelvis against the rocking of his kohai’s hips. “Ah… need you… deeper...”

Tenzo readjusted his grip on the jounin's thighs and pulled him closer, higher, slinging his ankles over his shoulders and curving his back. A gasp fell from his senpai’s lips as their bodies fell flush together. 

The captain closed his eyes as he pumped his hips, hitting him deeper than before, and losing sense of where he ended and Kakashi began. It was so hot he could barely stand it. But Kakashi's hunger could not be appeased - their connection not satisfying enough. 

“Ha-harder Tenzo!”

His sweaty brow dipped at the eager request.  “Senpai…”

Mismatched eyes turned on him - equal parts dark, lustful and needy as his tongue darted across his lips. Kakashi may never plead for anything, but he didn't have to when he looked like that. “Do it… hard… fuck me harder.”

Tenzo planted his feet and let his hips surge forward,  jarring the man's body and driving a breathless cry from swollen lips. He looked so sexy lying there submissively and taking whatever the Anbu gave him, drowning in the pleasure.  The brunet drove into him again. And again. And _ again _ \- concentrating only on the whispers of encouragement, the hunger for more, until a strangled shout echoed in the room. It had sounded so desperate, on the border of pain that the captain froze. 

The jounin's face was contorted in a grimace, brow pinched, teeth bared, as he trembled. 

“I'm sorry,” Tenzo rasped, easing his grip on the man's thighs and smoothing his touch up firm legs to rest at his hips. “Did I hurt you?”

“No.” But Kakashi's reply was shaky.  “No, don't stop.” His voice was strained and body tensed. “Don't stop.”

Tenzo ground his hips against him,  assuring him that he had no intentions of stopping, but maybe just slowing down. He watched trembling fingers release the bed and slide down flushed chest. The breath caught in his throat; if he had to watch Kakashi stroke himself while he was buried inside him, he was surely going to lose it. But he was surprised when his senpai ignored his own engorged length and instead curled his hands around the captain's wrists. 

“Please…” The desperation dripping from his voice was another surprise. “Tenzo…”

The Copy Nin’s eyes were half lidded and barely there,  but his grip tightened on his wrists and then Kakashi perched his feet against the younger man's shoulders. 

His wrists being held kept the Anbu in place and limited his movement, but he drew his hips back. Using the angle to his advantage, Kakashi was able to meet his next thrust with one of his own. A wanton noise rumbled at the back of the jounin's throat as he sighed his lover's name. 

Tenzo turned his hands so he could also hold onto Kakashi's wrists, hoping the small action would let the man know that he was very much present, and that he needed him just as much. The brunet began to rock against him, slowly at first so they could fall into the rhythm together, and then faster, and harder. Tenzo clenched his jaw as his gaze fixed on the heaving chest of his lover. Usually, he was the one reduced to a panting, writhing mess, so it was a bit empowering to be on the giving end.  But he also had the task of trying to hold out,  to make sure that Kakashi reached the pinnacle of their union first. The ache in his shoulders from Kakashi pushing his feet against him and the bruising grip to his wrists were welcome distractions. 

But Kakashi was all fire - his gasps and groans and heavy stares,  his quivering body and tight passage - and it was quickly consuming the Anbu. 

“Ka-kashi … slow down.”

A garbled noise resembling a whine slipped from the jounin, but he did not acquiesce. “No… I need…”

Tenzo slowed his hips,  the all too familiar feeling of impending release pressed low in his gut, expanding and buzzing against the surface, threatening to break through.  

But Kakashi seemed oblivious, his fingers tightening, and his hips still swinging against Tenzo's at a frenzied pace. “No...no… don't stop...fucking me,” he moaned between greedy gasps for air. 

A warning hiss escaped through Tenzo's clenched teeth. “Stop… y-you're gonna -ah!- you're gonna make me come…”

The warning only seemed to intensify the jounin's movements; his eyes screwed shut, barely incomprehensible words falling from his mouth, half drowned out by the lewd slapping of flesh meeting flesh. 

But there was no missing the sound of Tenzo's name, carried higher and higher. The Anbu’s mouth fell agape, the breath rushing from him as hot white bliss raced outward, drawing his eyes closed and his limbs taut. His partner's body quaked against his own,  grinding back against him.

Between the roaring pulses of blood rushing through his ears he thought he heard Kakashi cry out, curse, and cry some more before his bruising grip slackened. Tenzo felt boneless as the strain of orgasm faded, and he blinked his eyes open, half aware of the shallow huffs from his partner.

As his eyes traveled upward, he noticed the milky stream shot across his toned stomach.   _ Good, he came, too,  _ he thought,  and was pleased by it. He hummed in satisfaction as he turned his head and kissed one of his ankles, lifting a hand to caress his calf and then ease his foot down. The finger shaped marks on his wrist were bright red, but he didn't mind. He pulled his lips into what he hoped was a sultry smile,  but it quickly faded. 

Kakashi's hands were lifted to his face, heels covering his eyes, fingers clawed in his hair. His chin was quivering, lips trembling as he fought to keep them closed. It was a fight he was quickly losing. 

Shock and concern led Tenzo's movements as he eased out from his lover, and a choked sound came from the jounin as they fully separated. Cautiously, the captain set his knee onto the bed and he leaned forward. He lifted his hand, but hesitated and curled his fingers in, before dragging his knuckles softly against his jaw.

His touch was all it took and a shuddering breath split Kakashi's lips before a sob pulled another in. “I'm sorry...I fucked up.”

For a moment Tenzo thought he was talking about his behavior, as he had refused to take his request.  “No, no, you didn't.”

“I'm so fucked up.”

Tenzo kept touching him, reassuring him as he realized it was much more than that.  “No,you aren't.”

“I'm sorry...I'm sorry…” he repeated over and over and the young man's heart sank as he saw the crystalline tears slide down to collect at his ears. 

Tenzo lay beside him and took him by a shoulder, pulling him closer. Kakashi rolled over, into him, at his coaxing, his eyes remaining hidden under his hands. 

The captain's fingers curled into sweat dampened hair reminiscent of thunder clouds as his chest absorbed the stifled cries. His lips pressed condolences to his head and his arm tightened around him. 

“It's okay,” he soothed with soft whispers and brush of his fingers as he held onto the breaking man. 

The jounin shook in his embrace, like an autumn leaf clinging to its branch as the wind ravaged it, pushed it to fall. His muttered apologies slowly morphed into pitiful cries and broken groans as his throat went raw. Still, Tenzo held onto him, running his hand over his back, determined to show him that he wasn't going anywhere - that nothing was going to push him away.

Kakashi fell silent, his hands slipping from his eyes to curl against Tenzo's skin. The brunet didn't move, simply watched with a soft gaze and let the jounin feel him. Fingers splayed across his chest, across his heart, and pressed there firmly. He watched as the Copy Nin closed his eyes and took in a deep, unsteady breath. 

He kept the many questions he had caged in his throat; Tenzo understood that the silence shrouding them was far too fragile. He combed his fingers through his senpai’s hair, the blunt of his nails soothing against his scalp. 

“Will you… stay with me?”

Kakashi's voice was hushed, and so disjointed that Tenzo almost didn't hear him, but the weight of his words was unmistakable. He tucked the man's head under his chin. “Of course. I will always stay with you, for as long as you'll have me.”

A lean arm snaked around his waist and the Anbu hid a soft smile in Hatake's hair. He seemed to be recovering from whatever was troubling him. The brunet waited until his lover's breaths evened out before he let his eyes succumb to the pull of sleep. That small step forward was enough to settle both of their troubled minds. For now at least. 

Tremors woke Tenzo from sleep - a persistent twitch and jerk against his chest. His eyes were still heavy and the darkness of the room was all that initially filled his vision. He ran his hand through Kakashi's hair again before letting his gentle touch ease down his back. 

“Ssh,” he soothed,  his lips ghosting over his forehead. 

The jounin curled up against him tensed before falling slack, a light snore accompanying his shift. 

A yawn pulled at the brunet's lips as he became aware of the nagging lack of feeling in his fingers. He eased his arm from under the sleeping Copy Nin, watching him with careful eyes for any sign that he was disturbing him. He rolled onto his back and cast another sleepy glance at Kakashi before letting sleep take him once more.

The next time his sleep was disturbed, it was by a far more unpleasant feeling - it was sudden and sharp, and it rocketed him into the waking world. Pain was pulsing from the left side of his face and confusion followed. 

Angry, incoherent mumbling was stuttered at his side under heavy breaths and Tenzo reached out to him. “-kashi?”

A clammy grip snatched his hand and squeezed. The captain rolled over to face him, hoping to vanquish whatever ghost was haunting him this time around, when the pain in his hand intensified. He could feel the jounin shaking and he cautiously lifted his free hand.

“It's okay,” he whispered, “it's just a dream. I'm here.”

Tenzo let his fingertips brush the side of Kakashi's face and it all came crashing down in lightning speed. Kakashi knocked his hand away and shoved the heel of his hand forward, as if fending off an attacker, while he twisted Tenzo’s other hand - fingers snapping at the odd angle.

The younger man cried out in shocked pain and recoiled his hand as it was released. “Kakashi, wake up!”

He bolted upright as the jounin did the same, cautious of the dangerous aura rolling off of him. His eyes were still closed as they turned toward Tenzo. 

“I killed you, “ he murmured, but his voice was undoubtedly laced with venom. 

“Snap out of it, senpai!”

Tenzo felt the familiar stirring within him warm him of the potential threat, that cold clench in his gut that refused to be ignored even though he knew he was with a friend. The air stilled and a chill pricked at the back of his neck just before Kakashi swung his fist forward. Tenzo leaned back, narrowly avoiding it. 

“I killed you,” he exclaimed again as his first came back around. 

The captain caught his hand on instinct and realized how bad of an idea if was as the jounin's other fist came flying in. With his fingers crippled there was no way he could catch it.  He shielded himself against the attack with his forearm and then hooked his arm around Kakashi's.

“Wake up!” he yelled, nearly pleading.

Kakashi's head came down, cracking into Tenzo’s face. He released the jounin as the sharp pain lanced  through him and made his eyes water. He deflected the incoming blow, but gasped as Kakashi's other hand took him by the throat. The captain curled his good hand around Hatake's wrist and squared his shoulders, fighting back as the  jounin tried to push him down.

Tenzo threw his forearm against Kakashi’s shoulder, desperate to find a way to wake him. When he threw the second hit, Kakashi caught him and twisted his arm down, putting pressure on his broken fingers. The captain yelped in pain and tried to retreat, but it only allowed Kakashi to overpower him.

Tenzo huffed as he was tackled backwards and struggled to draw breath back in. The jounin curled his fingers in, like a predator's claw, against his throat. The immediate pressure caused the Anbu’s eyes to widen and his grip on the man's wrist to tighten. 

“-kashi… please!”

“I killed you,” Kakashi growled. “Stay. Dead. Stay. Dead…”  Every word was pronounced with a tightening squeeze of his hand.

Tenzo's ears began to ring, his lungs burning for proper breath and panic settling low in his gut. He didn't want to hurt his senpai, but he was running out of options.

“I'm sorry, Kakashi,” he choked out with a wheeze as he let go of his wrist. Summoning chakra, he released his mokuton jutsu, a wooden beam shooting from the palm of his hand. It caught Kakashi on his chin causing him to let go of Tenzo and knocking him backwards off the bed. The captain gasped for breath, greedily sucking in air as he pulled himself upright. For safe measure, he concentrated further and let the wood grow around Kakashi's torso, trapping his arms at his sides and keeping him subdued on the floor.

Tenzo lifted a shaky hand to his throat before scrambling off the bed, worried about his senpai. He flicked on the light and then knelt beside him. His face was contorted in confusion, eyes screwed shut against the light.

“Tenzo… what… why can't I move?”

“You're awake!” The captain positioned himself so he blocked his face from the light. “Are you alright?”

“My face hurts,” he groaned.

Tenzo nearly scoffed and replied that he could relate, but instead he cancelled his jutsu and allowed Kakashi the freedom to move again. Relieved, Tenzo sat back and cradled his broken hand to his chest. He could already tell that his body was healing it, but it'd still take some time. 

The captain let out a deep sigh.  “Let's not do that again.”

“What...what did I do?”

Tenzo was aware of the fragility in the man's voice and he lifted his head to look at him. “Nothing that couldn't be handled,  but-”

Kakashi's eyes widened, alarm flashing through them so resounding that the captain let the sentence die. The jounin crawled over to him, brows knitted in concern and guilt etched into the pull of his lips. Tenzo kept his expression as neutral as possible as his senpai took his face in his hands. His gaze flickered over every inch of his face, inspecting him for further injuries. Kakashi's thumb swept over the swelling in his cheek.  A tremble shook his fingers as he caressed down his jaw and found the red imprints around his throat. 

“Tenzo…”  But his name resembled more of a strangled sound than a name, and he hung his head, resting it on his kohai’s shoulder. “I'm sorry,” he whispered. 

“I'm alright. It's like you've forgotten I'm a shinobi and that this isn't a big deal.”

His choice of words did little to placate the jounin. “Not a big deal?! I attacked you!” Tenzo winced as his hand was pulled away from his chest.  “I did  _ this _ to you.”

“And it'll heal, it's already healing.”

“It shouldn't have happened in the first place!”

The wild look in his senpai’s eyes would've scared a lesser man, but it only made Tenzo fight harder.  “Maybe not, but it did, and I'm okay.”

“Tenzo…”

The captain threaded his fingers into Kakashi's hair.  “I know that you weren't trying to hurt me.”

“I broke your fucking hand! You can't excuse that,” the jounin countered as he jerked away from him. 

“Do you want me to blame you? Do you want me to be angry at you? I was scared,” he paused at Kakashi's hurt expression.  “ _ For _ you. Not of you. I tried waking you… but you were completely immersed in your dream. What were you dreaming of anyway?”

“Does it matter?”

“Of course it does. Did it have anything to do with the mission you just returned from?”

Hatake was visibly frustrated, cheeks flushed and stress pinching his brow.  “I don't remember.”

Tenzo knew it was a lie, but he didn't push it. He just wanted the moment to settle, to climb back into bed and hold him until he understood that what happened wasn't his fault. “Kakashi, please…”

But his lover was still shaken, and he got to his feet and put distance between them. He picked up his pants from the floor and eagerly slipped into them. He scooped up Tenzo's and tossed them to him. 

“You…” he paused and took a deep breath. When he spoke again, he sounded more composed. “I'm sorry. But you should go.”

Surprise pulled at the Anbu’s features. “Go? And leave you here alone?”

The nod of Kakashi's head was subtle, automatic. “Yes, that's exactly what I'm asking you to do.”

With an annoyed huff, Tenzo pushed his feet into his pants before standing and pulling them up the best he could with a single hand. “You can't be serious!”

“But I am, Tenzo. Go.”

His eyes narrowed in defiance.  “No.”

Kakashi glared at him for all of five seconds before realizing he was serious. “Fine, then I'll go.”

The captain rushed him, blocking him as he headed for the bedroom door. “I can't let you go.”

“Well, now I'm not asking you,” Kakashi warned, but the younger man could see the exhaustion that filled his eyes - not frustration or anger.

“Then you'll have to make me move.”

“Dammit! Please, Tenzo.”

“I don't think you understood me, senpai,” he began, letting the fight fade from his voice.  Instead he let everything else come to the surface - the adoration and devotion, the fright and frustration, the helpless longing, the love that he was no longer unsure of.  “I can't let you go.”

The same tension from earlier locked Kakashi's jaw as their eyes met, as the Anbu silently pleaded with him. Whatever he managed to see had him blowing out a shaky breath and closing his eyes. “Why?”

Tenzo stepped closer. “You know why.”

“Why?” he croaked out again, and Tenzo heard  _ Why do you love someone like me? _

He pulled the Copy Nin into a tight embrace, broken hand be damned.  “We are all a little scarred and frayed around the edges, Kakashi, still, our pieces fit. You saved me... from the day we first met you've been saving me. If you were that cold and fucked up, you wouldn't have. You would have given up on me by now and left me behind. Instead you kept me beside you, and I've going stronger as a Shinobi and a man because of it. I know you pile the weight on your shoulders, and I know you're strong, but it's time to share the burden.”

Tenzo could feel the jounin tremble in his hold - whether he was scared or angry, he didn't care.  He wasn't going to let go; he'd meant it. 

“If you know what's good… you'll walk away from me.”

The Anbu only readjusted his hold.  “You'll have to push harder than that.”

“I can't drag you down with me,” Kakashi  reasoned again.

But the younger man had another counter ready. “Someone has to pull you back up.”

Unsteady hands settled on the captain's hips.  “I don't want to hurt you. I can't…”

Tenzo curled his fingers into the hair at the nape of Kakashi's neck. “Do you trust me?”

His reply was a nearly broken sigh. “Of course I do.”

“Then that's enough,” he whispered against his skin. “I'll fight your demons beside you.”

“Tenzo…”

“You're not alone, Kakashi-” the captain paused; admitting truths to himself was one thing, voicing it was another.  But, he thought, maybe that was exactly what he needed to hear. “I love you.”

He could feel the jounin's breath hitch and the strain in his body, but Tenzo felt lighter, stronger.  “I love you,” he repeated. 

Kakashi's arms circled him, before he crushed against him, his hot breath washing over his neck as he crumbled. His body was wracked with silent sobs and Tenzo just held him, being the pillar he assured the jounin he could be. 

In the face of a breakdown, the stillness of night had never felt as reassuring as it did right then. Kakashi was no longer pushing him away, but pulling him closer. Tenzo turned off the light and took him back to bed, letting the man curl up against him. He combed his fingers through the jounin’s hair, lulling him back to sleep, his arm still slung possessively around the captain's torso.

Tenzo pressed his lips to Hatake's forehead and then cast a glance to the window as he bit back another yawn. A small, sleepy smile tugged at the corners of his mouth as he focused again on Kakashi's face. Hope begins and the dark, he'd heard once before, and it was that hope that let his eyes close and join him.  
  
  



End file.
